My Story

“Behold, I go forward, but He is not there,
and backward, but I do not perceive Him;
on the left hand when He is working, I do not behold Him;
    He turns to the right hand, but I do not see Him.
But He knows the way that I take;
    when He has tried me, I shall come out as gold.” Job 23:8-10

What is my story? Part of it is that I have experienced the heartbreak of 4 consecutive miscarriages. Each one was unique, and their loss deeply affects my heart and faith. There are days I struggle to find a small glimpse of God in the midst of my pain and fears for the future. And there are other days I find myself standing on 2 feet, with my eyes locked on Jesus, ready to brave the next step forward. But in every day, whether I feel it or not, I am still God’s child and in His care.

I have found that when I don’t understand the Bible, and am frustrated by God’s apparent silence, I can always find comfort in looking to Jesus Christ. Seeing the suffering He endured, the ways He responded to loss in this world, and the things He spoke about- these things help me remember that Jesus understands my pain and that God has not left me.

I’m glad you stopped by this quiet corner of the internet. My hope is that the analogies and scripture shared on this blog can be an encouragement to you in the midst of whatever loss you are walking through right now.

In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” 1 Peter 1:6-7

I would love to hear from you! Feel free to email me at:  thefirstgleamofdawn@gmail.com

 

Blog Posts that share more of my story:

Providence and Jubilee

Providence and Jubilee- My First Miscarriage
As we remember the losses we have experienced, may we also remember that we have a loving God, whose hand we can hold in the midst of the brokenness in this world.

AcaciaTree croppedWhen I Don’t Know What To Believe Anymore
When life came crashing down and I found myself in a dark time of not knowing what to believe anymore, I needed tangible proof of God’s Love. Woven into the Jewish tabernacle and the Acacia tree is such a clear picture of Jesus on the cross, with a whiplashed back and a crown of thorns.

dice and wooden cup cropped smallerBut It’s Just Not Fair!
“You just had an unlucky roll of the dice.” Her words echoed in my brain… When I doubt
God’s love for me, I am reminded that the highly statistical probability is to walk through one’s entire life without God…And it’s simply not fair that God has saved my soul for all of eternity.