Number 4? Really?

Sad news y’all… I had a 4th miscarriage earlier this week. 

I was hoping to have different, happier news to share. But instead, I’ll keep my eyes fixed on that horizon and the coming dawn

What do you say in a time like this? I’m not really sure.

But here is what I texted a friend this morning:

“I know God promises to work all things together for our good, so I’m holding onto that promise in this time.

I was thinking yesterday how my miscarriage loss last October was one of the hardest things I have ever experienced. And yet, if someone were to ask me which time in my life was most significant for growing my faith to be stronger and more dependent on God, … I would say those few months after my October miscarriage. During that time, my heart learned that God’s love for me is not based on circumstances or how I feel. And my faith went deeper, to be less easily shaken.

And so I can see (looking back) how God brought about great good from something that at the time felt like the worst thing ever for me.

Which is why I’m trusting that, even in this, God is working for my ultimate good and His glory, and that He has a good purpose in allowing this.

I have recently cherished that verse in James 5:11“Behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast. You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful.” The New Living Translation says “for the Lord is full of tenderness and mercy.” It reminds me that God’s purpose, even in deep sorrow and loss, is tenderness and mercy.”

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; 
he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”
Psalm 34:18

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28

“To whom will you compare me?
Who is my equal?” asks the Holy One.
Look up into the heavens.
Who created all the stars?
He brings them out like an army, one after another,
calling each by its name.
Because of his great power and incomparable strength,
not a single one is missing.
O Jacob, how can you say
the Lord does not see your troubles?
O Israel, how can you say God ignores your rights?
Have you never heard? Have you never understood?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of all the earth.
He never grows weak or weary.
No one can measure the depths of his understanding.
He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.” Isaiah 40:25-29

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4 thoughts on “Number 4? Really?

  1. Your post really broke my heart! I want you to know you are in my prayers. I personally have never experienced this, but two of my daughters have. It is heart rending when this happens…but know this…your child is safe in the arms of Jesus! You will be reunited. Praying for you…
    anita

    Liked by 1 person

  2. mosaicsoftheheart

    Dear sweet girl…oh sweet sister…. I am so sorry. May Jesus hold you extra tenderly right now…
    …thank you for keeping your eyes on Jehovah Jireh. When we don’t understand his hand, we can trust his heart.
    I am praying for you today. ..❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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