Number 4? Really?

Sad news y’all… I had a 4th miscarriage earlier this week. 

I was hoping to have different, happier news to share. But instead, I’ll keep my eyes fixed on that horizon and the coming dawn

What do you say in a time like this? I’m not really sure.

But here is what I texted a friend this morning:

“I know God promises to work all things together for our good, so I’m holding onto that promise in this time.

I was thinking yesterday how my miscarriage loss last October was one of the hardest things I have ever experienced. And yet, if someone were to ask me which time in my life was most significant for growing my faith to be stronger and more dependent on God, … I would say those few months after my October miscarriage. During that time, my heart learned that God’s love for me is not based on circumstances or how I feel. And my faith went deeper, to be less easily shaken.

And so I can see (looking back) how God brought about great good from something that at the time felt like the worst thing ever for me.

Which is why I’m trusting that, even in this, God is working for my ultimate good and His glory, and that He has a good purpose in allowing this.

I have recently cherished that verse in James 5:11“Behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast. You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful.” The New Living Translation says “for the Lord is full of tenderness and mercy.” It reminds me that God’s purpose, even in deep sorrow and loss, is tenderness and mercy.”

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; 
he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”
Psalm 34:18

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28

“To whom will you compare me?
Who is my equal?” asks the Holy One.
Look up into the heavens.
Who created all the stars?
He brings them out like an army, one after another,
calling each by its name.
Because of his great power and incomparable strength,
not a single one is missing.
O Jacob, how can you say
the Lord does not see your troubles?
O Israel, how can you say God ignores your rights?
Have you never heard? Have you never understood?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of all the earth.
He never grows weak or weary.
No one can measure the depths of his understanding.
He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.” Isaiah 40:25-29

Merin’s Story | Freedom in Forgiveness

The power of forgiveness to bring healing and freedom is a resounding testimony to God’s grace and work in the lives of His children. In this 3rd part of Merin’s story, she shares about the freedom she has experienced through Jesus. Feel free to contact her if you want someone to talk to.

Come Awake

Guest Author: Merin Minch
Before you continue, read Part 1 & Part 2 of Merin’s story.

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Merin’s Story | The Journey to Joy

This is the 2nd part in a 3 part series of Merin’s testimony. God meets us in the darkest places and brings healing, even when we think that healing is impossible. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to contact her.

Come Awake

Guest Author: Merin Minch
Before you continue, read Part 1 of Merin’s story.

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Merin’s Story | From Brokenness to Healing

It takes courage to honestly share the power of Jesus to transform and heal the deepest wounds. The forgiveness that this woman has shown is breathtakingly beautiful and a testimony to the supernatural power of God. Please take her up on her offer to message her if you want someone to talk to. This is part 1 of a 3 part series.

Come Awake

Guest author: Merin Minch

A note from Merin: I have been thinking and praying about posting my story for about three years now, but the Lord kept saying, “not yet.” The Lord has finally opened the door and my purpose in writing this is to express to all of you the journey of healing I have found through Christ. I desire to point to the faithfulness of God despite the brokenness of my past. We live in a world that runs to money, sex, and power to numb pain. However, the comfort I have found in the Lord, through my struggles and the redemption of Christ, is what gives me the grace to move forward knowing He is enough and is truly the only path to freedom and healing. I hope you will be encouraged by these words and that perhaps one of you will find the peace you have been…

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Unspoken Expectations…

We carry around these unspoken expectations
Like black anchors on our souls.
Insidiously life-stealing
Their chains drag our hearts down.
We refuse to let go,
Insisting we must fulfill their impossible demands,

Loss creates a vortex that swallows whole
Our expectations and anticipations,
Leaving us empty handed.
I wish I could have said…
I wish I could have done…

In a frantic strain to patch
The gaping hole left by wounds,
We distort the “I wish” into “I should.”
I should be able to say…
I should be able to do…

Mistakenly betraying ourselves into believing
that others emphatically agree
With our self-imposed expectations,
We’re left with these anchors-
Unspoken, unmet, and ever burdening.

What is it for you?
Those secret, lurking lies
That steal joy and breath without us fully realizing it?

Fear of more miscarriages,
Barrenness, and the uncertainty of adoption,
Whisper reckless lies
That only in the “I wish or “I should” world-
Can I find everything worth wanting…

Except, that’s not what God says.
God says, “I AM.”
And “I have redeemed you for a purpose.”
Everything worth wanting is found in God,
Not in chasing ever-elusive expectations.

What if we choose instead
to trust God with all these things?
What if we focused on where God has put us,
And do what we can with what He’s given us?

What if we earnestly ask Him to lift off of our hearts
These unmet and unspoken expectations that weigh us down?

“Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-30

The Best Anchor: “This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary.  Jesus has already gone in there for us. He has become our eternal High Priest in the order of Melchizedek.” Hebrews 6:19-20